Are diamonds a woman’s best friend? My friends are as precious as diamonds.

Lacking family ties, my friends were always family. Friendships started in childhood. I grew up in a scrappy NYC neighborhood called Astoria. We kids played stickball, rode bikes, and walked the neighborhood to look at rats in empty lots. I made friends throughout my high school years (68-72). I spent at least six hours a day with my classmates, five days a week. We laughed, celebrated birthdays, and made corny jokes at lunch. After graduation, I missed my former classmates but life interfered. We drifted apart. I attended college at night, making friends with students who shared my harried lifestyle of full-time work and fighting fatigue during lectures. In 1982, I quit smoking and befriended runners. In my work life, I made friends with co-workers. The lettuce on the BLT’s may have been limp and the coffee weak, but it was a pleasure to eat lunch with co-workers. After long runs, we often went out for breakfast. A serious car accident in 1994 ended my social work career. To stay connected to people I do volunteer work.  A group of us older women volunteer together on Thursday for a global humanitarian agency. I look forward to our time together.

I cherish all my friends, past and present, but Maryann, Tui, Kristin, Mary and Julie are special. I wish there was space to mention everyone.

I met Maryann in the mid-1970s when we both worked for a large NYC corporation. We connected right away and our friendship endures. We share lots of memories but one stands out. In earlier days, Maryann, her sister Virginia and mother Kathleen bonded in the furniture department of a large department store. On a cold morning, they probably lingered longer than a salesman liked. So he asked Kathleen if she needed help. It sounded like a prompt to get moving since it was evident they weren’t buying the couch. Kathleen smiled and said coffee and a bun would be lovely. Maryann married, raised a family and is now retired. I look forward to our daily e-mails and hearing about her life..

Tui entered my life in 1998 at a writing class. We had similar literary interests. After the six-week class ended, we made a lunch date. Tui welcomed me into her family. I spent holidays at her home enjoying good food as well as good company. Last May, Tui and her husband moved away to be closer to their daughter and her family. I miss our lunch/movie dates, chats over coffee and the festivals we attended. Holiday season won’t be the same. Nor will the festivals.

I moved from upstate NY to Phoenix in 1997 and quickly became entrenched in the animal rescue community. I met Julie as she toured the county shelter where I was a volunteer. Two ragged Dachshunds, impounded as strays, caught Julie’s attention. Due to their wretched condition, the dogs were likely headed to the euthanasia list because an owner hadn’t show up. Julie contacted a rescue group that agreed to accept the pair. Neither dog lived very long but at least they died in caring, loving homes. Our love for animals brought us together and we’re still friends. Each week, we take a walk in a local riparian preserve. Sometimes, we play cards. I’m glad she’s my friend.

In 2015, I converted to Islam. The 1994 car accident nearly took my life. I believed I was spared for a reason. I wasn’t sure why. I met a Muslim woman at the airport where I volunteer and we became friends. Islam filled a gap in my life. There was pushback, however. Not all my friends approved. But not Kristin, who I also know from animal rescue. Kristin and I get together once every two months or so. We’re predictable eating lunch at the same restaurant and ordering the same dish. We see a movie afterwards. I’m happy she stayed.

I met Mary maybe fifteen years ago. We’re both animal lovers. Until the pandemic walloped us in 2020, we got together at least once a month. In her 80s, Mary is fearful of the virus even with vaccinations. I had to respect her wishes not to see movies or eat lunch indoors anymore. We’re still friends, sharing regular emails. I miss getting together. Our conversations were always invigorating.

The car accident left me reliant on a meager disability income. I can squeeze a dime until Lincoln gasps. I shop in thrift stores, buy day old bread and water down dish soap and shampoo to make them last longer. Around 2017, my car broke down. The repair bills were enormous and I wasn’t sure how I’d pay them. Enter the ladies from my weekly Quran group. They collected every penny. They also contributed to my rent increases and utility bills. I feel humbled by their generosity. My own family was never that helpful, even after the accident when I had no income for a while. I can’t give money but I give my heart in return.

Animal friends have also enriched my life. I got my first dog in 1985. I found a scrappy mutt that I named Scottie. Having company filled my lonely apartment. I talked to Scottie as if he was human. Along the way, at least twenty more unwanted dogs found their way into my life. I loved each and every one, including Lucy. She only lived for six weeks. They each brought something special to my life. 

The internet opened up friends from faraway places. I wish I could meet them all. It’s likely I won’t. Nonetheless, I am blessed to know so many people not just from the US but from around the world.

My friends make me feel safe and warm. I’d be lost without them.