by R. J. Smith

Will You Still Look on Me Like a Failure if I Tell You This is What I Want?

Chance doesn’t care, unfortunately. 

Some are forced to perfect  

their straight faces so the winners may not  

know who has lost. Would I rather never  

roll a six, or know what it feels like to lose  

it all? At times I think I’ve done quite well;  

after all, I am here to write this.  

What is a declined mortgage if not 

life experience? What is a failed marriage  

but the source of inspiration? Is not  

the bailiff’s knock the finest incentive  

to achieve?  

What do you know of me? 

Only a little. Only these moments. But 

I am far more than these experiences. 

I am easy conversation and casual jokes, 

a welcome voice at the monthly karaoke, 

guaranteed first batsman for my local club. 

I am sleepover dad on alternate weekends. 

I am long bubble baths, Superman  

pyjamas and hot chocolate. 

Hand me the dice and watch me smile.  

Trust me, I am happy. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

R. J. Smith is an English poet and short story writer. His writing explores the fragile and often contradictory relationships found internally and with those around us. He is currently studying Creative Writing at Bath Spa University, and you can find him on Instagram at robert.the.unkind and on Twitter @RobertUnkind.
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